God Jul

This year, my parents joined us for the Christmas holidays.  Every year, for as long as I can remember, we’ve celebrated a Norwegian Christmas Eve dinner – a tradition that I’ve continued since moving to Whitehorse.  Over time, I’ve amassed a collection of specialty tools designed to make white sugar cookies look like cones, flowers, butterflies and more.   And once a year, I empty my china cabinet full or Porsgrund plates to serve dinner on the same china pattern that I grew up eating off of.

The Krumkaker iron - a Norwegian heirloom

A Norwegian Christmas dinner consists of:

Lefse

Flat potato bread, which looks like a tortilla or a crepe.  You spread butter on the lefse, and then sprinkle sugar on top – roll it up tightly, and it’s perfection.  I suspect that bread, tortilla shells, and even cardboard are tasty with enough butter and sugar.  But, that doesn’t stop lefse from being the most popular of all the dishes.

Pork sausage and ribs

The meat centerpiece of the meal is a porktastic display of fatty goodness.   Apparently Christmas was a wonderful time of year for everyone, but the family pig.

Lutefisk

Everyone’s favorite dinner dish is cod that has been soaked in lye (yes the stuff they make soap out of) for two days.  What you get in the end is jello-textured fish, which is basted in melted butter.   Lutefisk proves that butter does not make everything better.  One year we tried to feed Starbuck leftover lutefisk – he politely declined.   This is a dog that regularly eats rotten fish from the banks of the Yukon River, but apparently can’t stand to eat his Human Mother’s traditional fare.

Potatoes and Peas

The fillers in Christmas dinner, and the only thing that my Bike Wife, the vegetarian, can really eat.  They are prepared specially for the holidays – the potatoes and peeled and placed in a pot of water.   Boil for an hour, and then serve with no seasoning.  Peas are done the same way.  Norwegians are not known for their flavorings.

Lingonberries

Here’s the great secret that IKEA does not want you to know – lingonberries are actually just cranberries.

Rommegrot/Frukstuppe

Rommegrot is a pudding made with whipping cream and flour.  You stir the whipping cream and flour together until all fat from the cream oozes out.   Shockingly, this dessert has not been a hit over the years.   It’s replacement is a frukstuppe (fruit soup) made with dried apricots, pitted prunes, raisins, oranges, cherries and tapioca – stirred together into a thick, more watery version of mincemeat.  Whether you go with the rommegrot or the frukstuppe, the key ingredient is a single almond hidden in one person’s bowl.  Whoever gets the almond wins a marzipan prize.   Making dessert into a competition helps diners overlook challenges such as taste and texture.

Akvavit

The direct translation is fire water – the Norwegian liquor is just that – a liquid that burns it’s whole way down.  For lutefisk, it masks the taste; and for the pork, its drano-like qualities clear fat from the throat.  Skol.

Another awesome thing about Norwegian Christmas Eve is that you get to open gifts one night early.  Before heading to bed, Starbuck helped us tear open the presents under the tree.  My big surprise was from the Mr. – full white polar bear mittens!  Do I look happy?