I didn’t include one very important acronym in my last post. It wasn’t technically an oversight, I decided not to include HTFU for a couple of reasons. First of all, it’s really not mine to share. Those who follow the Velominati recognize it as rule #5. The “rules” are an often quoted set of principals which all road cyclists must follow. They are clever, they are hilarious, and the prevelant through the bike blogosphere. Geargals once said “Everytime someone quotes the rules, I kick a roadie”, and for that, I apologize to the poor Alaskan roadie who just got nailed in the shin.
HTFU is harden the f(*& up. It’s the thing you do when common sense says to stop or rest or take a day off because it’s a 60 km/h headwind from the north. Similar to FOMO, it’s the complete ignorance of any logic. But, instead of being fuelled by others, this idiocy is fueled from within. HTFU is also a powerful tool in the world of FOMO. When a friend appears to be waffling for all the right reasons, just tell them to HTFU, so you don’t have to wallow in poor decisions all by yourself.
So why bring up HTFU now? Apparently, I’ve hurt HTFU’s feelings by ignoring him; and now he’s determined to enact his revenge. The month of April has been a HTFU month for biking. Bike rides to date have featured: hail storm, snow storm, wind storm and below zero temperatures. I have been forced to develop systems of layering that have me leaving the house looking like deformed sausage. I have coated myself in embrocation cream, only to freeze on the road and rush home to a warm bath. Do you know what happens when you get into a bathtub with embrocation on? Imagine thawing out frozen chicken thighs with hydrochloric acid. It’s not fun.
So I’m finished. I’m not going to HTFU any more this Spring. I will not ride my road bike through slush and snow. I will not grind out kilometers in sub-zero weather conditions. Instead, I will fly to California and enjoy some sunshine and short sleeve t-shirts. See ya later suckers – and enjoy HTFU-ing without me.